Shadows

Everytime I click on fb status I think about u.

Each upload of pictures, the photos of us smiling, I can't help but think about you. 

Your shadows are everywhere. Triggering memories of the past. The pain still hungs and will continue to hang. My love for you lingers as my heart longs to call you mine again. Friend I mean. 

We have to break this chain of cycle. And pain is the only way around it.

Only time will heal us all. 

Take it. Use it. Don't lose it.

Triangle

Why is our relationship more complicated than usual?

Betrayed and betrayal

背叛与叛逆

我的叛逆造成你的背叛。

I told you before don't play w me. I will play w the girl u are after.

But I don't want the rs to be like this. I don't want each of us to live in fear that one of us will leave one day for someone else.

We need that time apart. My heart longs to go back to you. My brain tells me otherwise.

We are both hurt and said things that we can never take back.

I'm glad Rena came along. She dug out so many hidden feelings and agenda inside us.

This time out will do us good, I convinced myself everyday. Don't rush into a rs again. Don't make other party suffer becos of insecurity. 

I'm still not used to this life without you. But I will do my best to live life again.

Then maybe you will see the change.

Things change

They say when a rs starts it starts with 2. 

When the third person comes in things change.

So many shows abt cheating so many shows abt third party. There are even the ones abt threesome. I nv thought it would happened to mine. 

Maybe it's the influence of alcohol, maybe we both find her attractive and acted on it. 

But at the end of the day, she's a catalyst  the spark to our rs. I still love u more than anything. 

If my love has become a burden a habit a responsibility, that just shows how much we have and value each other. 

You told me u feel free, like someone has finally let you go. That's how I feel. 

You can take as long time as u want to

Figure things out. I won't say it hurts but we are matured enough to handle this situation. 

Please rem I'll always be waiting for you.

Life after cruise

It's a slow week after cruise holiday.

My heart and mind is still on board star cruise Virgo.

Everytime I shut my eyes I wish I would open them to see myself in the shower, in it's bed or in the pools or in the gym.

I learn that i shld not place money over friendship. Especially in business😔 just let gf do it.

I learnt that decision that I can make is a god's gift. 

I'm in need for spiritual books. I'm in need for psychical exercise.

My body and mind crave for more

While my soul wants peace serenity and away from this reality.

I'm thankful Everytime I think of giving up god will have his way of telling me not to.

He send me to hospital to regain my will to live.

He send Chris to tell me abt her mother in law slip disc prob to remind me how lucky i am to be alive.