terrible.. just terrible

Do you remember any of your dreams? From young until now.. which are the ones that lurge in ur brain hunting ur mind every night? Which are the ones that makes you wan to have the dream over and over again? Which are the ones that made you woke up realising that you're screamed or cried?

I've dreamt of plenty... Most of the unpleasant ones still came back when i talk abt dream.. Nightmares!!! been doing this tickle test dream interpretation just now.. it's quite interesting to interpret my dreams.. ( heys i rather interpret dreams than interpret for SCH lo.. really can die ar~)

I used to have dreams about some guard or some people chasing me.. ok , not zhui qiu kind of chase la.. is really those running for ur life kind of chase.. it means in my subconcious, i'm dreading someone would stole away my security.. that's why i'm afriad.. I'm afriad to think abt it too..
(add-on: recently dun have le.. cos.. hahas..someone gave me more security than i ever could have)
Sometimes i dreamt of ppl wanting to murder me... hahas that was during Olevel period la.. dad told me i'm too stressed up that's y..

Pleasant dreams i've had a few, sometimes dreaming of S.H.E. I dreamt that i was Hebe or something, was talking to selina and playing bb with ella.. hahas (watch too much lian ren wei man mv le la)
Sometimes i dreamt of holding my crush's hand.. (last time ermm sec 2); there's even one where i was walking down the aisle with him! diao lo... haaas.. that was ermm... sec 1..

well so much for my dream la..

wweeeee SHE!

I'm being tagged.. sorry ar today de entry very long... hhahas.. cos finally hand in interpretation le.. so.. no more worries!!

1) name 20 ppl u think of now b4 answering the qns below

2) tag 5 ppl to do this, if he/she had done it, no need to redo.

1. Jayvern

2. Meigeok

3. Jiali

4. Wei peng

5. Peisi

6. Fidelia

7. Beani

8. Mel (bro)

9. Yong Sheng

10. Gavin

11. Kelcium (my kor cum jie fu)

12. Felicia HENG (my high bye friend cum jie)

13. Jia qi

14.Jemin

15. Huey Tyng

16. Wu qi

17. Li fang

18. Yi fang

19. Xixilie

20. Zhen yuan

When did you meet 14? hahas NP orientation.. always with the same bunch of ppl..

What will you do if you never meet 1 before? gulp.. i'll still be flirting ard as a bung.. maybe gotten into truoble a few times with the police..

What will you do if 20 and 9 dated? hahas.. that'll be gay right? haaas.. Zhen yuan is attached lo..

Did you ever like 19? ya.. i love you cecilia!! hahas later xiao qian come find me..

Would 6 and 17 make a good couple? erm no... one is in australia and one is in her own lala land.. hor fi hor? haaas..

Describe 3. jiali! one of my bestest friend in this world! she's tall and pretty.. ermm.. smart and creative.. sometimes a sadist.. sometime a joker.. sometime a silly little girl..haaas

Do you think 8 is attractive? ^_^ nono i dun like bung!! but to other p maybe la hor.. hahas

Tell me something about 7. beani ar... little girl lo.. likes to talk alot! very friendly but hey grrl.. eat more can? hahas...

Do you know any of the 12's family member? hahas.. i noe she got her dad and mom and her younger sister and brother.. brother is same age as me.. got talk to him on phone b4.. (ask him for Felicia's new hp no.)

What's 8 favourite thing? vicor

What would you do if 11 confess that he/she likes you? ahh! confirm not serious de.. hor jie hor..

What language does 15 always speak? Chinese & Hokkien!!

Who is 9 going out with? no one ba.. maybe his crush?

How old is 16 now? she's 19

When is the last time you talk to 13? in class today..

Who's 2 favourite singer/band? I noe i noe!! Jay chou and GARY cao

Would you date 4? ahh hahas.. dated a few time le.. hahas spab's grp dating..

Would you date 7? oops.. this one ar.. really got date b4 le la.. *shy*

Is 15 single? ya..

What's 10 last name? Goh

Would you ever be in a relationship with 11?‘ we're already a family!!

What school does 3 goes to? Ngee Ann POly CHS teaching track

Where does 6 live? serangoon lo... we always meet to go to sch together in sec 4 sch days

What's your favourite thing about 5? she's the most honest and pure hearted grrll i ever known..

Have you seen 1 naked? hahas... *bao chi shen mi*

5 people to do this lame thing: beani, jiali, xixilie, jayvern!! and meigeok!

Homework.. Responsiblity

Things juz gets piling in when sch's in the hse.. haizzzz... haven play enough yet.... yawn.. recap.. holiday.. SAG camp, video production... er.. nothing else le.. omg.. wad a waste.. oh ya.. we went to places to take pictures.. ECP, Pasir Ris park.. hees.. okla quite fun holiday..

some pictures i took for New Media class















so cool right? the aperture... the water drip*drip*

well well.. let's talk abt the movie i've watched in the holis ba.. Just my luck and The King and the clown.. obviously being the No. 1 Korean show of the year, it's the better broth..

Jang-seng (KAM Woo-sung) and Gong-gil (LEE Joon-ki) belong to the same acting group on the road in the years of the infamous King Yon-san, during the Chosun Dynasty. One day, they go to Seoul and their group hit the jackpot by playing a show about the King (JUNG Jin-young) and his lady, femme fatale, Nok-soo (KANG Sung-yeon) But soon they get arrested for insulting the royal king and Jang-seng bet their lives to make the King laugh with their play. Their fortunate success leads them to stay in the palace and perform regular plays. As the King shows growing attraction and love towards Gong-gil, Nok-soo who is out of control of her lust and envy for Gong-gil, as the king turns his back to her, secretly plots to take Gong-gil's life.
(abstracted from http://www.festivefilms.com/kingandtheclown/ )

for more details pls visit the above webpage..

wahhh headache.. got alot to do.. hmm.. should i get a job in the coming holiday? i noe next sem i'll be busy.. i'm taking back french intermediate A.. abit sad la.. cos my friends all level up le.. but.. ya dun stop half way lo.. wan den learn the entire thing lo..

darling is sick... that time the bee infection made her whole hand swollen very badly a week later.. now she's down with flu.. mom and dad too.. been worrying abt almost everything lately..

oh ya alfred promised to bring us to sentosa today.. was looking forward to it but.. think some misunderstanding among the heads.. so dint went.. had conlan lecture instead.. he mention e-learning for global issue i haven start!!

danny's class is not bad.. back to his presentation skills and kou yu bi ji!! i haven start!!

my sis brought home another comic for me.. i haven start!!

lu guang sen ling i haven finish!! omg this is why i dint get things done...

giving jayvern math tuition tml.. think i have to brush up on my math le.. cant even solve my sister's sec 2 math how to be tuition teacher?!

yup last thing i wanna mention is.. we're all trying to save $$$.. right?

log off
jing

p.s: did anyone miss clive?

Becoming Royston (follow up)

well, randy ang replied me saying tt, the webisode is actually a movie (so paiseh) they're trying a new way of advertising the movie by showing the 1st few clips as webisodes.. The full length feature will be about 90mins - 100mins long which youshould be able to catch in the cinemas year end or early next year.


the next thing i wanna mention is Royston tan's movie 4:30..

Film Synosis
Xiao Wu’s existence revolves around school, an empty apartment and the dubious comforts in instant noodles. One day, his routine is subtly transformed by a tenant in the apartment, who is nursing a heartache. Their paths cross only once in a while. Longing for human contact Xiao Wu tries all he can to make a connection through physical and metaphorical walls in that hour between night and day.

Director’s Statement
A meditation on absence and longing, 4:30 is about a moment, and a boy’s attempt to cling to it, escaping his drab reality. 4:30 traces the relationship between Zhang Xiao Wu and his tenant Jung, a thirty-something Korean man. Told entirely from the perspective of the boy, this story of two very different characters is less about friendship than about a shared experience and appreciation of solitude. 4:30 was conceived while I was filming my first feature 15. I was doing a lot of late night shoots and would normally still be up at 4:30 am. I realised that this is a very lonely time of the day, in fact I think probably the loneliest. It feels too late to go to sleep yet at the same time, too late to be awake. I’ve heard a rumour that the suicide rate at this time is apparently the highest. The premise of 4:30 is built around 2 lonely people who share and probably find a kind of unspoken connection through their loneliness. The reason for using a Korean character was in part, a way of thanking the people at Pusan especially the Pusan International Film Festival for their tremendous support for many of my short films over the last few years. It was also my intention to show that oneliness is universal and cross – cultural hence there is very little dialogue in the film 4:30. Emotions of the characters are told through their body language like their eyes and facial expressions, or subtle cues of their hands. This perhaps also opens more doors to interpretation for the audience as well.

4:30 opens 29th June 2006, for more information visit http://www.zhaowei.com/430.

back from camp

SAG camp is a real success.. xixilie aka hui jun.. u guys really did a great job making it memorable in this little life of mine.. hahas..

it gets me away from the "hectic" life i'm living.. feel like castaway.. now that i'm back.. everything juz keep pouring in again..*yawn*

though my body clock is turned upside down.. it's still fun.. hahas.. sorry peeps if i dint give u guys my msn add or blog add.. hmm juz feel that it isnt time yet ba.. cos ya.. dun wan them to think so much abt me.. (i'm juz a normal person..)

ya.. n some i might not even meet after this camp so why bother ppl with who i am.. but the closer ones know la huh.. hahas.. yifang aka xiaoqian, hui jun aka cecilia, hui fen aka ke ai..

lalala... now now.. back to my life again.. sylvia! wei peng! jiali! i'll link u all now~

Some questions left unasked, some answers left unsaid

Some times i wonder if all this were real? Like Matrix.. Wadever we thought it was for real.. but in actual fact, it's wad our mind make us believe that it was for real.. Y should the world be round? Because my teacher taught me... Wad is reality? Must the spoon be straight and solid all the time? Probably.. y because metal are solid and solid do not change it's shape.. this is wad we all know but wad if all this is juz the mind's controlling our thinking.. maybe all in all we are just creatures living in the womb of a certain endangered plants and being monitored by machines..

I like Matrix..

Nowadays i keep wondering wad i shld put up here.. My life diary ? My love story? Or just a place of shout out where ppl would just come and see this idiot is screaming her head off in front of the screen abt unhappy stuff that happened in her life?

Depends on the person's feeling ba i guess.. Been wondering about alot of things.. hahas.. i would wanna ask my CHS friends y they dint ask me abt questions like why are u a lesbian? y u like girls? you know wad? actually the only person who asked me his awkward question is li fang.. i dunno whether if it's all planned or wad.. (which i find it very interesting..) before i even become one of Qing long bang's member, she was the one asking me to join them.. hahas.. quite a wierd way of asking me to tou something qi something.. hahas..

anw, she asked to borrow my laptop to correct something on her homework.. after which when we reached the pond bench, the rest of QLB suddenly all disappeared.. Den things start to get really awkward.. She ask me erm do i have a boyfriend.. den i say no.. oh ya that time i wasn't attached.. (it was a year ago) I said no.. den she tell me that there are rumours of me being a lesbian.. so she wanna ask me if i am one.. haaas. It's very awkward and i can practically feel the blush on my face la.. den i ask her y she wanna noe.. She said she wanna hear it from me and she wanna noe more abt lesbians.. cos none of her friends are like that and i'm the 1st she met.. I really dunno wad to say so i just beat around the bush asking her wad she wanna noe and stuff..

I did told wei zhen abt my stuff before but i think i scared her off too much ba.. hahas it wasnt a pleasant teenhood for me.. but ya.. I'm glad things turn out this way..

Lesbians are not really normal, hahas.. I could agree on this point.. Me and my gf always get stares when we walk along the road.. Ppl tend to look at her den at me wondering if we are gay or les.. some ppl are smart to spot us out.. some juz took her as a guy.. most bung like to be called guy.. but i'm not so into differentiating them la.. I just live my life and they live theirs NOMB..

hahas anw lesbian couple or gay couple.. they're still couple.. why break them up just becos they disobey nature's cycle.. Though i might be attracted to girls, but i tend to look at hunk too.. hahas.. I dun think any guy would understand me like my gf does.. and i bet my gf could be a better partner than the guys i've dated or wanna date..

anw i would like to thank all my friends who had be so tolerant with me.. ( i know i keep changing stead last time..) and for accepting who i am now and for accepting Jayvern oso..

Take care ppl!
signing off
Jingxian

Becoming Royston

Yup.. he's the director Royston Tan.. Me too wanna become someone like Royston.. But this web site is not entirely abt him.. It's a story abt a guy name Tan boon Huat Nicknamed Hae Bee.. Directed by Nicholas Chee .. This is NOT a movie but the Latest stuff called Webisode.. The link is under my recommendated link.. so ppl CHECK it out!!

pictures at the beach Siloso n ECP

at sentosa...















on the green line bus.. top.. at abt 7 pm

The beach, the sea and the alochol again?! hahas

Our class photo without the 2 guys b4 liofang's departure..










Editing the video was a success!! Kai boon, Jiali and Yiling had seen our preview footage.. hope u all like it.. though it wasn't all professional yet.. hahas..
However i had left early to meet ah dear at outram park to go sentosa... hahas.. when i reached Outram, she just reached Chinatown.. and guess wad? there's a long long passage way to the NEL platform! dint expect it to be so long.. (i mean who would care about the length when u're strolling along that place with ur beloved.. time just stop in one way or another.. hahas) anyway i had to run to meet her la.. so paiseh.. everyone looking at me like an elephant evasion of the NEL line!

Anw, we managed to get to Sentosa together.. and we forgot abt it being one of the Singapore tourists' attraction in June holiday.. Everywhere u turn there's a bunch of tourists.. sianz!!
we reached siloso beach and decided to play pool on cool deck.. she keep looking at Ben and Jerry's girls lo... (*jealous*) hahas dear the black cap one more chio...
how come Ben and Jerry's girls are always so friendly and pretty??? mayb next time i could just throw in a reason to take pictures with them.. den dear u can get their phone no le... hahas..

well.. i took DNA blue and DNA lemon crush for ah dear at the pool table.. It's actually taste nicer than Bacardi but abit more gasssy.. after yesterday's last gulp of alcohol, i was knocked out on one of Sentosa's bench.. slept like a pig b4 we even stepped into the beach.. hahas it was a long fun day.. oh ya. we even met Ching on the blue line bus home.. (nice specs she got there)

anway gg to give dear a wake up call now.. we gg ECP later.. cycling hees...

Editing take 1.. action!

hahas today is the 1st day editing in sch for our Narrative Video Project.. Break Up?! so sad hor the name.. but indeed.. nv judge a book by it's cover.. even Kai boon our lead actor was scared of himself when he watch our draft editing hahas...

sorry for not introducing our crew!
lixin our director, Belinda our producer, Xinni our PA, Joycelyn our ScriptEditor and Hui fen our soundman (woman)! After Sunday's hard work, bet everyone wants to see the final outcome of our video project.. sooo the job is up to the editorS to finish the job.. hahas kla i'm the cameraman and the editor..
lixin's : action was soooo deeply imprint on our mind in all digitized video that bel recorded it and was supposedly set as msg tone.. hahas being the cheeky one, i'm oso guilty of having it too.. (bel bluetoothed to me) hahas!! lixin lixin !! ACTION!!

she's very nice to accompany me to look for background music in library.. MAYDAY u all rawks!! hahas!!

ehh after sch went to meet dear in town.. ate LJS for dinner till now.. abit hungry ahahs.. after which bot vokda rasberry and green apple back to her hse.. down with some other Bacardi of 45% alcohol i think.. this was like the longest i've been drowsy so far.. hahas.. think of the shots i might take if i club..wahhas..

anyway..
still taste of alcohol now..
tired the whole day already..
signing out

jingxian_clive

free willy

without them around bussy me.. think i can really fly ar... but it's ending in 18 hr time.. sianzz.. this is precisely why i'm always soooo busy when they're not ard...bet most ppl my age, in my situation would too.. busy going out and breaking "laws" ha~

went to meet jie juz now in town.. but was abit upset when things dint turn out as expected... hmm maybe it's also fated that things turn out this way.. anyway have fun jie.. and pls dun give up so easily la.. she's ur man !!!!

dear dear is so sweet to me today... gave me a handmade necklace that she bot from her friend.. her friend is selling jewelleries online so ya she bought it for our 10th monthsary.. hahas thanks!! i feel so guilty again for not getting u anything... somemore the movie CARS was soo nice that i'm enjoying every little bit of the film.. 915-1130pm.. (they called me in between from some hotel in Malaysia but i juz hung up rashly..blabbing things like i'm in movie.. talk to u later..)

Did i mention that they msg me in the morning.. and i was shocked to recieve the same msgs from them? asking me to do chores? i think i keep complaining too much abt that.. hahas..

Shld i break the rules and go drinking with my dear dear tonight at her hse and process to sch later in the morning for editing or shld i just stay home and SLEEP?? that's hard to believe i'm actually thinking of sneaking out again... later grandma wake up to find me missing n tell my parents that i dint go home in the night... sianzzzz!! maybe i juz go for a drink at her hse den go home already lo..

okok now gg off to her hse le.. hees she's sooo nice coming over to fetch me to her hse.. muacks!!

clivien

freedom?

booo!!!
such a happy day yesterday with my beloved...
finished the necessary on Sun... special thanks to all of my teammates and our friends who helped Jiali, Kaiboon and Yi lin and Yi wen and Jia shan!!
had a really great time with them... by the time we wrap up.. it's already 10 pm.. everyone's beat!!!
now is editing (the worse of all in video production) process.. guess it's juz part and parcel of life la hor.. u cant possibly like everything...

sorry ar dear on Sun.. made u wait for me in the SUN for us to film.. hugs.. and the stupid bee that stung u.. it's probably be dead by now... hmmm next time dun be so sweet la.. even bees are attracted to u... hahas...

glad u like that "a stranger at home" :) cheers

i'm now at home n u're in sch.. muz do well for O lvl k.. thanks for talking sense into me.. hahas.. i'm always so inconfident in myself.. but u're the one boosting me always...

later meeting Fel jie for dinner.. hahas jie!! dun torture urself le la.. juz go back to kor.. work so much oso have to rest de ma.. i'm sure she miss u too.. hmmm when jV birthday's here we go clubbing together k.. mayb can go ZOuk cos the femme final competition is coming... hahas can cheer on MO xiao lin ma..

they're still in Malaysia.. i'm so glad.. but pls la.. go malaysia dun need to keep msging me to do this do that.. sianz.. mayb i'm juz as impaitent w them like i usually do.. looking back at those pics.. i really feel very loved.. probably cos i'm their 1st child.. i guess... i disappoint them alot.. we have very different views on things... i dun like to be restricted and they juz wan to restrict me.. wad am i now in this hse? nothing.. gotta put my heart on something else like career or my gf le.. no point pushing it...when they already give up...

loved.. disappointment.. guilty..

a little time spend, great achieves

Just created this blog for fun.. out of lesiure la... probably cos i'm most bored out of my skin.. holidays are coming and guess wad? school just flood us with assignments again... not that bad this time but i feel that this time the subjects are so heavy couldn't breathe without some techno she send me..

Tml is another hectic day of filming.. quite like filming but cant seem to see myself getting anywhere with it...more and more into opening a business one day with her.. (yay!! going out with her later... watching the play "a stranger at home" ... hope it's nice.. our 10th monthsary is coming up.. hees..) maybe i'll learn how to put images up and decorate this place up properly... heys.. everyone has the chance to learn ma... dun laugh at me k.. hahas..

hope to catch up with my old friends and keep things going on.. yup.. miss ya lots lots!!!

clivien