Sunday, April 27, 2014

解释

解释就是掩饰
掩饰就是事实

我没有打算解释什么,也没打算掩饰什么。受伤的人,正在恢复,没必要加盐加醋。

我和新的她,很开心。爱苗正在发芽,虽然很不想鲁莽踏入一段新恋情,我还是想告诉自己,该来的来了,何必拒绝?
早点成家,早点立业。日子又能像之前一样安逸下来。

我厌倦了变化,厌倦了别人的闲言闲语,厌倦了现实的残酷。

我只想安静地和我爱的人过日子。

一段更复杂的故事

一段复杂的恋情就像打折死结的绳子。各自有各自的路却因某件事交叉穿过打了一次有一次的结。

分手了,和十年的她,因为多了两个人,感情通不过考验,而选择了放弃。

彼此存在的差异,已经断定了这场恋情的结果。少了那两个人,结果可能还是一样。

我的她4个月前喜欢上另一个人。是我告诉她的。我的她很惊讶,我劝解,我讨她欢心,我阻止。她在我面前狂澜,答应不再想她。3个月后还是一样,我看她努力却摆脱不了那女人的踪影,我伤心无奈。单纯的我根本没有想过她会背叛我,到处捏花惹草。

认识新欢是3月未的事。新欢是我的她的朋友,后来才发现也是我的她的目标之一。新欢对我表白心意,我也觉得她亲切,讨人喜欢。新欢的出现,燃起心中沉睡的火苗。她是我喜欢的类型。

我的她知道我和她是彼此欣赏的类型,决定把新欢推给我,自己打退堂鼓。

之后我的她告诉我,她做的一切其实是为了刺激我,给她反应。让她知道自己在我心里所占的地位。我知道,我肯定,但我不想。厌倦了,厌倦了每次要逢场作戏,表示我紧张你。
我的表示可能不是你意料中的。可是我的付出你看不见吗?

对不起,我不是个会讨你欢心的人。对于你的刺激,我无动于衷。你要的是虚荣,不是真爱。

我感慨前9年认识的那个人,就在这4个月内不见了。

梦里我一直呼唤你,醒来后还是回到现实。我不知道谁对谁错,我只知道我们分开是正确的。

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Noah

We only take what we need. 
No more.
No less.

Friday, April 04, 2014

Shadows

Everytime I click on fb status I think about u.
Each upload of pictures, the photos of us smiling, I can't help but think about you. 

Your shadows are everywhere. Triggering memories of the past. The pain still hungs and will continue to hang. My love for you lingers as my heart longs to call you mine again. Friend I mean. 

We have to break this chain of cycle. And pain is the only way around it.
Only time will heal us all. 
Take it. Use it. Don't lose it.

Triangle

Why is our relationship more complicated than usual?

Wednesday, April 02, 2014

Betrayed and betrayal

背叛与叛逆

我的叛逆造成你的背叛。
I told you before don't play w me. I will play w the girl u are after.

But I don't want the rs to be like this. I don't want each of us to live in fear that one of us will leave one day for someone else.

We need that time apart. My heart longs to go back to you. My brain tells me otherwise.
We are both hurt and said things that we can never take back.

I'm glad Rena came along. She dug out so many hidden feelings and agenda inside us.

This time out will do us good, I convinced myself everyday. Don't rush into a rs again. Don't make other party suffer becos of insecurity. 

I'm still not used to this life without you. But I will do my best to live life again.

Then maybe you will see the change.