hahah.. y did i write this stupid thought for the previous post?

it might be the exact time when ah ma passed away..

everything is all jammed up but yet i can still whisk through everything..

managed to attend classes and bring my friend ard town and finish my school work and prepare for i-weekly anniversary..

thursday they carried her body to the void deck, its really painful to see her lifeless body.. i used to wake her up when i stayed at her hse last time..she's always lying in the room floor, with a fan in her hand.. fanning herself.. she would wake up when i shook her, look at me and smile. then clipped up her hair and walk to the kitchen in that 1 room flat.. that was when she could see me..

they placed her into the coffin.. most of this we are not allowed to look.. it was a taoist ritual..
we place her at the void deck for 3 full days.. none of us cried.. we were all busy..

sun was the sadest.. mom and auntie wail when she is covered. even my uncles eyes were red and filled with tears...

the ceremony was loud and noisy.. we walked her around the block.. the sky was dark, everyone was predicting rain.. but it dint.. once we put her into the van and boarded the bus, rain came..
on the way there it was raining heavily..
after that when we reached the rain stopped.. she was carried onto the incinerator..

i have to keep reminding myself she's not there anymore...
my mind kept replaying the scene when i say good bye to her..
the last time i saw her was during CNY.. the only time i dint say my proper good bye..
i'm so ashamed..

i wonder if she can see and hear us now?
she's led a tough life, may she rest in peace now.

will anyone be there to fetch me when i'm gone?

我当记者了

从来没有想过当记者。

误打误撞的第一份升职的职业。

不禁想起以前和佩思、美玉和嘉利3个人一起留在学校写作业。

我们的作业都是散文，写的不少过3页。

老师的评语总是日剧、台剧看太多。

真的，当时写故事写小说很容易。天马行空，什么东西都能用妙语比喻描绘出来。

英文也一样。可是就是烂了点。

语文从来不是我的问题课。创意无限，无忧无虑。

虽然那个时候学校、家长都各自给我不少压力。自己也在彷徨徘徊寻找自己。

好朋友如今还一直陪在身边，真的很感激也很感动。

时代改变，我们都长大了。顾虑增加了，负担责任也多了。

我当记者，你当中医，她当老师，她当女强人。

当时留在课室里天马行空创作的我们还依旧烙印在我的脑海里。

以前学业成绩争得你死我活。

现在who cares?

我的人生，自有精彩。活得自由开心最重要。你说是吗？

I totally digg the Alchemist...


best book ever after the little prince...



i'm touched.