Revamp thoughts

There are so many sets of thoughts in my head recently.
Here n there.. All the 'wants' circling in my head.. I'd nv know why or what.. I just know its there haunting me.

The urge to Crave for the things you once crave for.
The path which we walked before.
The mistakes that we made before where we learn how to say no.

For a period of time The need for attention was very strong. I went clubbing for almost every week lurking around looking for trouble. I found the attention I wanted but it was short span, next day everything ended with a huge hangover.I was happy only in that place at that time. When I revisit it, it wasn't it again.
No I can't depend on a place for happiness.
That's when the addiction dies.

I look back in the mirror once again and saw that unhappy uncontented look. You have everything. What do u have to worry? No goals. That is the problem.

My tummy is bulging, my work is in a mess, my sch work is deteriorating. For the past yr, I've neglected my goals. I stopped serious working out when I fell down last yr. my Sch results gotten worse becos I didn't really put in effort or plan a schedule for revision. My work gotten worse when Derek n pc left Iweekly.

It took me a year to pick things up. And now finally when I'm getting a hang of what I'm doing he is scheduling another round of revamp....

This time round new writer is being fired. I dunno what's wrong w him. But him being fired n Iweekly going through revamp is gg to be another huge commitment n changes in my life. I'm scare the same thing would happen again... Keeping my fingers crossed..

I want to get through w this!

Was it worthwhile?

Police car's siren sounded in the distance.

Alex rummaged through his belongings, throwing his last bit of coke into his backpack and dashed out the building.

I miss writing composition. Especially for o level exams. Really, and I can write good stories in 1hr30mins time.
Be it Chinese or english.. I'm sure I can whip up a nice Engaging tale to keep examiners interested.

I miss those times when I work hard for something. It feels like decades since I work hard on something...

Now let me start today.
-sore throat/health
-new semester
-body weight
-relationship with people.

It might make me enjoy my holidays better I guess... Worthwhile is the word of the week.

Things I want you to see

Sometimes I look at you and wonder aloud where did this person come from?

And why is she so perfect for
Me?

I smile to myself.. Thank god you are still here..

I want to tell a story

I want to be a part of a story. A movie. To be the one that tells story. Like animation or something..
I want to watch so many show and produce one that amaze ppl.

It has always been that dream of mine to do so..
Now all I could possibly do Is write a blog.. Haha..
How I envy those blogs with readers...

Sickening

Everytime when I'm just about to be ill, I can feel it. I've gotten it so many times that I can tell what temperature I'm having.

I dread it everytime I have a fever, i get this never ending self talk, and events replaying in ur mind but you can't do anything else but to go through ur entire life again. I see myself doing things that I regret.. Not saying things I shld have.. Self pity starts all over again.. It is sickening to feel that way.. And u get angry easily.. U get irrited I don't wan to talk but ur mind is very noisy.. Ur body is aching u can't move properly.. U slur when u talk.. All the symptoms some tiny micro organism is doing to my body..

Likw what lynette just say.. Here I am at the cross road.. I realized I am at the cross road once again.. I looked at the nurses in the clinic they fight w some patient becos some medicinal claim was rejected.. I watched the drama for more than an hr they put me there on hold.. This is the kind of shit I have to go through w customer.. This is the kind of shit my baby is gg to go thru... I hope she'll do well get a taste of customer relation.. Maybe we can strike that off the list of occupation we want to do haha just like my azabu sabo..
I'm tired of this company alr.. I'm tired of the chain I'm locked to and the boss I've answered to for the past yr.. They re really nice but becos everyone ard me is sending these negative signals abt them..
I wan to quit becos everyday my mind drift to playing and staying home w my family.. I want a long week home doing just what I want to.. Clean up my life... Clear up the spider web toss away things that does matter.. And really think abt what is impt..

What shld I do :( I wan a project basis job.. Where can I find that?