I need to find something that says there’s hope everywhere. I need a place that doesn’t hinder my creativity. Where I’m free to express myself. I need to believe I’m good again. That I deserve to be treated better than this.
I dread so much to go back to an office where they are dying to get rid of me. This is the First time I see efficiency in them.

My heart is empty as I embark on this soul searching trip. Cut off from the entire world for 4 days and seek the peace within. I need to be strong again physically n mentally.
Ive been Bowing down to them for the past 4 yrs like a dog sniffing their shit. It’s dirty, but I’ve been doing it. The things I’ve said to please them. The smiles that I’ve put on. The innocent look just to throw them off guard.
No I’ll not follow their plan to dump me. I’ve seen it coming all this while.
After this trip it will be payback time.
I’ll drag time I’ll fight back I’ll do whatever it takes to get my money and dignity.
Getting Stripped off from my post was easy but I’ll get over it. When the time is ripe… I’ll make sure I get stronger and better than you.
No u can’t bully me. I will stand up to u and fight back. Knnbccb

卑人

To believe others when they look down on you is the dumbest thing to do.

I'm the best.
I'm awesome.
I take your money with minimum work.
I've outsmart you.

Knnbcbb.

Revamp thoughts

There are so many sets of thoughts in my head recently.
Here n there.. All the 'wants' circling in my head.. I'd nv know why or what.. I just know its there haunting me.

The urge to Crave for the things you once crave for.
The path which we walked before.
The mistakes that we made before where we learn how to say no.

For a period of time The need for attention was very strong. I went clubbing for almost every week lurking around looking for trouble. I found the attention I wanted but it was short span, next day everything ended with a huge hangover.I was happy only in that place at that time. When I revisit it, it wasn't it again.
No I can't depend on a place for happiness.
That's when the addiction dies.

I look back in the mirror once again and saw that unhappy uncontented look. You have everything. What do u have to worry? No goals. That is the problem.

My tummy is bulging, my work is in a mess, my sch work is deteriorating. For the past yr, I've neglected my goals. I stopped serious working out when I fell down last yr. my Sch results gotten worse becos I didn't really put in effort or plan a schedule for revision. My work gotten worse when Derek n pc left Iweekly.

It took me a year to pick things up. And now finally when I'm getting a hang of what I'm doing he is scheduling another round of revamp....

This time round new writer is being fired. I dunno what's wrong w him. But him being fired n Iweekly going through revamp is gg to be another huge commitment n changes in my life. I'm scare the same thing would happen again... Keeping my fingers crossed..

I want to get through w this!

Was it worthwhile?

Police car's siren sounded in the distance.

Alex rummaged through his belongings, throwing his last bit of coke into his backpack and dashed out the building.

I miss writing composition. Especially for o level exams. Really, and I can write good stories in 1hr30mins time.
Be it Chinese or english.. I'm sure I can whip up a nice Engaging tale to keep examiners interested.

I miss those times when I work hard for something. It feels like decades since I work hard on something...

Now let me start today.
-sore throat/health
-new semester
-body weight
-relationship with people.

It might make me enjoy my holidays better I guess... Worthwhile is the word of the week.

Things I want you to see

Sometimes I look at you and wonder aloud where did this person come from?

And why is she so perfect for
Me?

I smile to myself.. Thank god you are still here..