Lalalala July finally ended!!!

So tired 

So tired

So tired

So tired 

So tired of all these chasing... 

Mentally draining me away...

I can feel the stress accumulating in my body esp my upper back spine... It's hurting. My body needs to completely relax and let go of all these job nonsense.

To handle two sides of the job is physically tiring. One is something that I like and look forward to. You see a system in doing things. You see schedules and deadlines and people's response were nice and kind.

The other is just pure bullshit. Blames and backstabbing, people turn away, disappointment and failure to deliver. It's somewhere I want to leave so badly but I have to hang in there until my part is done. It's not until mid aug... I'm sure it's not until my holiday starts hahaha! Then im gg full force for the filming! 

I think I need to give myself a time to break off from all these.. Tml is 1 aug! I'm so glad so glad July has ended!!!

New look and I'm lovingg it! Even

Suzie says so hahah!

3 pieces of advices

1) it is only as impt as you think it is

2) sometimes you have to bend backwards in order to go forward like a rubber band

3) whatever people say abt you is none of your business.

From Terence.

I just wanna cry right now

Things I learn from LOL

1) work is definitely not play; play can never be work when it is a talkshow

2) planning does not equate to actual execution

3) watch your body language and your attitude especially to external parties be it audience or guest.

4) people who take pix with you does not equate to them interested in you

5) when it is not a big deal don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

6) when people complain you don't need to act upon it immediately.

Tv hides reality. 

Why am I so sad?

Why?

Becos something I remind someone to do over the past 3 months was thrown back to me. And when I voice out, they take it as nothing, scolded me back for my rudeness.

Why? 

She puts on a fake mask doesn't do work and still earns more than me.

Why?

She can boss people around and no one gives a damn?

Why? 

When we do something that's right and Yet get punished by people that doesn't do anything?

Why? 

No one recognizes my effort, No one is helping, no one is guiding me where to go?

I want to be stronger. Emotionally I feel that I grew stronger. But I can feel my body wore out bit by bit.. It is a tough job.. A job for 3.. I'm handling all.. It's not even rewarding.. 

I want to leave commissioning.. I want to do something else.. From the looks of it.. It ain't gg anywhere till next yr.. I'm tired I'm sick.. 

I just want to get away.. 

Help... ?