Why am I so sad?

Why?

Becos something I remind someone to do over the past 3 months was thrown back to me. And when I voice out, they take it as nothing, scolded me back for my rudeness.

Why? 

She puts on a fake mask doesn't do work and still earns more than me.

Why?

She can boss people around and no one gives a damn?

Why? 

When we do something that's right and Yet get punished by people that doesn't do anything?

Why? 

No one recognizes my effort, No one is helping, no one is guiding me where to go?

I want to be stronger. Emotionally I feel that I grew stronger. But I can feel my body wore out bit by bit.. It is a tough job.. A job for 3.. I'm handling all.. It's not even rewarding.. 

I want to leave commissioning.. I want to do something else.. From the looks of it.. It ain't gg anywhere till next yr.. I'm tired I'm sick.. 

I just want to get away.. 

Help... ?

7月

是我不熟练

不懂得处理人际关系

才造成这些不必要的压力吗？

一人兼多职

真的很累

他妈的累

每天都不想去想工作

谈到工作更是可怕

不懂未来的去向

也不懂现在的逆境会维持多久

每天上班就像上战场

比在iw更辛苦

幸好能准时下班

不然真的很累

工作也不必带回家

周末和放工后都能好好休息

他们说最迟也要明年拍完手上所有的戏才能换工作。想拍戏？等咯。

7月诸事多

更动也多

换老板

学法语

生日会

现场戏

见面会

可能只是心病吧

I look quite cute ah?

Discrimination

I'm discriminated by people around me whenever I behave like a boy.

When I cut my hair short..

The designer next to me literally scream omg you skinned your hair!!! I can actually see your skin!!!

When my boss sees it he smile and say don't cut so short.. Not good.. I ask why not.. He just smile..

When a lesbian friend sees it she says

Why ah? 

Why must I answer to all of you?

Why must you define how I look like or what I do?

Just because my gf is butcher than me I need to conform Norms and act as a femme?

I need to change my sex to be beside her issit? 

Or do I need to change gf to someone else girly so that I can be myself?

I just. Kept quiet. Because you will never know how much I hate you for this.

金钱论

不知曾几何时

无论价钱

每一餐都讲究味道好

无论价钱

只要达到目的

多少钱我都能给

不知什么时候

我变成那么一个会鄙视金钱的人

＂少了这份工作，我就变回普通人＂

这句话 原来很多人时时刻刻都在自问。

昨天到餐厅吃饭

两人只叫了一人份

花不到20元

内心顿时挣扎一下

＂走进餐馆，花那么少，会不会被瞧不起？＂

懒得理，拍拍屁股走了。

日后应该还有更多这类事会发生，不过钱这回用起来比较实际吧。

在城市里工作真的会害死一个人。

我要逃离这里。

真的很想。