work stress is getting into me....

new jobscope.. old environment... old colleague.. but new expectation... and my chinese writing is sooooo fucking lousy... bet i'm the worse writer in Singapore.. Thanks..

acting more unusual lately... i can sense tat something is inbalance... i'm trying so hard to maintain that focus... realising that i'm trying very very hard to relax and calm down...

If there's something to do at least my sense of useless-ness is still not so bad....

Exact description of my stress? -it affects the body as well..

-stuffiness on the chest.. cant breathe properly..
-heart thumping so hard that i can feel my body rock front and back..
-the-race-in-the-heart feeling when work comes into mind..
-body muscle seems to deteriorate and die down everytime i think about work..

on top of that i'm making everything a problem.. it's like i'm dwelling on all the mistakes that i make.. i'm trying so hard to think before i make every move... but it ends up the same.. with a walk-away gf, a wrong comment, a blacked face...

breathe in breathe out. *camomile tea* things will get better.

Blogging for the sake of blogging

I've been slacking off this blog!!





Alright here goes.. nothing...





My mom's gg for eye operation soon. My grandma's health is getting better (good!) but her memory is fading away.. so we have to repeat everything every day..every time she ask..





Some murder case traumatised me for the past 24 hr.. and i'm recovering from it. Hopefully next time when i'm 30 plus... i have a beautiful home to live in and happy family with my parents and a loving gf of cos.. and a dog, with a purr.. a fish with a smile... and a hamster with a grin..





Going for tripss soon.. but sch's starting.. trying to balance time as usual... so many things i wanna do.. so little time..


i've decided not to stop learning. so after my degree. i will take on some other courses to enrich my life. such as MUAY THAI (mm), ANGER MANAGEMENT, Riki, Korean?, baking classes?





Sooner or later i'll be doing up a blog on food.. written by me and photog by sticky..





3 more years i'll be 26... 6 more yrs i'll b 29... OMG......





WISH EVERYDAY IM SHUFFLING.....





oh one more thing.. I'm STILL FUCKING overweight. thanks.

can i tell you a secret?

even though i'm working in a chinese magazine.

i speak english to the rest of my colleague, except my boss hahaha.

sometimes they speak to me in chinese, i reply in english. ok most of the time.

and we have been communicating like this for 2 years now... hahaha

no one notice this.. they just speak normally as they do...

lol... only those that cant speak to me in english i will definitely speak to them in chinese.. like those older ppl.. i wonder why.. and i dint assign this...it just come naturally..

最幸福的事

完成每一件事，脑袋轻松回家。听着MP3里的“一见钟情”，望着夕阳落下。家里有丰富的水果和晚餐等着我，全家人都到齐了大家一起吃饭。木瓜好甜。 准备好了，本来想睡个懒觉。改变主意还是去运动松松精骨。流了一身臭汗，回家赖在电视机前吃晚餐。看旅游节目《世界第一等》《食商玩家》开怀大笑。真的很舒服。打理好厨房，冲凉，去角质，涂润肤乳，敷面膜。好受宠哦~ 上网写日记，看存折，付钱准备泰国游。 我太爱我自己了。 -------------------------------------------------------------------- 唠叨的话留到后面。 之前一直很依赖的人，一个我很尊敬，又很喜欢的一个人突然变得不可理喻。我不知道整件是谁对谁错，是谁利用谁，是谁忘恩负义。我只知道有些人表面上对你很好，有一天会背叛你，告诉你其实我一直以来都在利用你。表面功夫做到最好，可是转头翻脸不认人。我不知道我说的是自己还是他。我只觉得这整件事，我没有找过他解释，好像有点过分。就好像之前，他用我们过桥之事，可能也只不过是某种误会。这一切的误会好像都是因我而起。是不是呢？有时候大人们看到的世界，跟我看到的不一样。对方明明别有动机，我却看不出来。我逢人提起这件事，他们都觉得是他不对。可是为何我一支耿耿于怀？这是所谓的人性险恶吗？怎么那么恐怖的？他对我很好，之前也是。只不过，事后看清他的真面目还是觉得不可能。错的是自己呢？

my dream is to 1) trade stocks 2) open shop 3) play with camera 4) do some creative writing once in awhile 5) enjoy life with gf 6) free weekends . . . N) slamdunk all mother fuckers